Come on you Grecians!

The steel-and-glass pyramid in my garden is piled high with stray treasures — bags of crystals, boxes of fan mail and pillars of books. When I need to boost my energy levels I like to explore my trove, allowing a higher intelligence to guide my hand to some page or letter that opens a fresh door in my mind.

When my beloved Exeter City crashed down to relegation in the final game last year, I thought I’d never want to watch another match. But it’s an addiction! University of Utah researchers have measured testosterone levels in fans.

Psychologist Paul Bernhardt discovered levels of the sex hormone soar by up to 20 per cent among fans of the winning team. “I think this confirms a lot of people’s notions that serious sports fans really do seem to be affected by their teams,” Bernhardt said. “This is not just happening in the mind, it’s happening in the whole person.”

I predict this spells bad news for Chelsea fans. Their new owner, billionaire Roman Abramovich, may be about to learn why it’s dumb to pay players a lifetime’s salary for a single season.