Private Eye

20th September 1996

Colemanballs

£10 paid for contributions

“It’s a tale of two systems, John, and both exactly the same.”
Mark Laurenson, Radio 5 Live
(Jean Wilcox)

“The trouble is, all year I haven’t had the ability to go faster than possible.”
Chris Boardman, BBC 2
(Charles J. Hughes)

“Oh, and here comes Caddick to bowl again from the pavilion end again… well, I don’t suppose he’ll mind if I read the scores between his balls.”
Henry Blofeld, BBC Radio
(Geoff Brown)

Professor Anthony Clare: You were an only child. Do you know why?
Uri Geller: My parents didn’t have any other children.
Radio 4
(Roy Brewer)

“The Loyalists say they won’t just lie down and walk away.”
Dennis Murray, BBC1
(Michael Grosvenor)