Witches cast an Exeter spell on me, says Geller
EXETER CITY’S players are getting ready to ‘bend it like Uri’ — and the cutlery in boardrooms all over Division Three may never be the same shape again.
The witches of Exeter have driven Uri Geller to become joint chairman at St James’ Park and it means life as they know it in south Devon may be over.
Michael Jackson, best man to the king of the paranormal, will be invited to give an open-air concert, along with Dave Stewart and top boy band Nsync.
It’s Geller’s way of telling fans of the hard-up club. which last season called on the PFA to pay the players’ wages: “Stand by for lift-off.”
He vows that the whole world will soon know the Grecians. And after less than a week in office, foreign players are already beginning to e-mail or post their details, hoping to play for the master spoon-bender.
Geller, 55, is already in the thick of the ITV Digital debate, and does not rule out sitting on Football League or Football Association committees.
And all because of a vision his son Daniel, installed as Exeter’s 21-year-old joint vice-chairman of Exeter, had seven years ago.
Geller recalled: “Daniel had a dream about the first witches hung together in England and said he felt a powerful spiritual draw towards them.
“Strangely, he had always followed Exeter. His bedroom remains a shrine to the team. On the way to a match we stopped close to the cathedral and discovered the spot where it happened.
“It occurred to me that in a past life, Daniel lived in Exeter. This explained his drive and passion for the club.
“That interest exploded last week when John Russell and Mike Lewis, who’d just taken over, came to see me and suggested we join the board. Now I am joint chairman with John. Daniel (currently studying in Strasbourg) and Mike are joint vice-chairmen.”
Geller has a strong sporting history. His pep talks helped inspire Muhammad Ali and Evander Holyfield to world titles, while many Premiership footballers have clutched power-forming crystals in his Berkshire home.
Last week the psychic geared up the nation in spiritual thought to help England’s ailing World Cup stars, David Beckham and Kieron Dyer.
“I want to use my name worldwide to put Exeter on the map and convince the fans to buy season tickets, because we are going places,” he explained.
“It’s been suggested we change the name of the ground to the Geller Stadium, or switch our purple away shirt to a more assertive orange. But I don’t want to disturb history, and I’ve made it clear to manager John Cornforth there will be no paranormal activity!
“So don’t ask me to bend the ball into the net or interfere with our opponents’ thoughts. But with John’s permission I might inspire and motivate the lads in the dressing room.
“It’s happened before. As a boy of 13 in Cyprus my three-minute visualisation speeches helped take a poor side from bottom to top of the league.
“Most of all, though, I hope to open the door to bigger finance at Exeter. Michael Jackson will probably say: ‘Where is Exeter?’, but so did I at first. I might ask him to perform there, and also Dave Stewart and Nsync, whose star logo I designed.
“This is an exciting new phase of my life. The board are very serious about getting out of Division Three — and I’ll do everything I can to help.”
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