Pyramid power

We think faster. We use more of our brains. We’ve been around since the dawn of man. So how come left-handers don’t rule the world?

It’s possible. Everyone knows the bizarre claim, first made by a Czech radio engineer named Karel Drbal, that a razor blade placed in or under a pyramid will become sharper overnight. So why shouldn’t my cells be regenerating too?

The razor blade theory was intensively tested by the parapsychologist Lyall Watson, who reported that he’d made a single Wilkinson Sword blade withstand 16 weeks of daily use, by slipping it under a cardboard pyramid built to the same proportions as the Great Pyramid of Cheops (base edges 15.7cm, side edges 14.94 cm, height 10cm, if you want to try making one yourself).

Lyall also reported that a razor blade left in the moonlight would quickly go blunt, and he speculated that sunlight reflected from the moon’s surface was polarised, vibrating mainly in one direction: it stripped the crystal structure of the razor’s edge. Perhaps the crystals actually grew inside a pyramid.

I didn’t want to repeat someone else’s experiment, and anyway I use an electric razor, so I took two apples and placed one under the apex of the pyramid’s roof. The other I left in a sheltered nook of the garden. Four weeks later, the outdoor apple was rotting and soft, but the pyramid apple was still fresh enough to eat — and, I can report, crunchy! Pyramid power works.

I’ve also noticed as I sit in my glass house (getting younger by the hour!) that we have rabbits. And hedgehogs. And herons.

I don’t mind the hedgehogs, though I’m not sure why Daniel laughed so much when I refered to them as ‘porcupines’. The herons are a nuisance, because they steal our fish, but they are beautiful.

It’s the rabbits who shouldn’t be there. They’re digging up the lawn, and there’s more of them every day. They ought to be mortally afraid of my land, since it’s patrolled by a sleek, turbo-charged rabbit-chaser named Barney. He was a racing greyhound, and ever since he was a pup he’s been obsessed with pursuing furry, long-eared creatures…

… but not in our own garden, apparently. Barney has become a live-and-let-live rabbit-watching kind of dog. Or maybe he just thinks it’s funny to see me go charging across the lawn, waving a garden fork and yelling dire threats.

He’s probably thinking, “What’s Dad going to do if he catches one? Eat it?” 

Try this Pyramid Power experiment, and amaze yourself:

Take a piece of paper. Cut a square about two-and-a-half inches on each side, and fold it from top to bottom. Open it up again. Fold it from side to side and open it up again. You now have a square piece of paper creased into four smaller squares. Fold it from corner to corner, open it and fold it along the other diagonal, corner to corner. Now you have a square divided into eight triangles. Pinching it along the diagonals, push it into a star shape.

Take a needle and a little ball of Blu-tac. Stick the eye of the needle in, so the sharp tip points straight up, and place the paper pyramid on it like a hat. The needle’s point should be at the centre of the paper where the creases meet, without piercing it, so the pyramid balances. A light breath or a touch of the finger will set the pyramid spinning smoothly.

Here’s the amazing part. Without touching it or breathing on it, simply by cupping your hands around it, you can make the pyramid spin. This is not air currents or body heat or sleight of hand. It is psychic power.

Put your paper spinner on a desk or table and seat yourself in front of it. Bring your open palms towards the star. Curl your fingers around the spinner. Stare at it and breathe evenly and lightly. Gently will the pyramid to turn. Urge it silently with your mind. Focus on it and persuade it.

For 30 seconds or so it is likely that nothing will happen. Then the pyramid may start on its axis, very slowly, probably in an anti-clockwise direction.

Incredibly, about 60 per cent of readers will be able to perform this feat of psychokinesis. It isn’t anything occult or magical – it’s just science that nobody knows how to explain yet. Many readers will find they don’t get a result immediately, but success comes after two or three days of attempts. So keep trying!

I believe that the hands are our bodies’ strongest psychic conductors. That’s where our life force flows most powerfully. Learn to channel it through the simple spinning pattern of the pyramid spinner and you could feel enormous physical benefits.

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Alison Jacques threw a party to celebrate the opening of her new gallery in Oxford Circus. I love the idea that I can drop by to invest in a new painter — and Alison has an unerring eye for future stars — before treating myself to a new shirt or shoes. Art is for everybody, especially the ones who love shopping.